it's the little, loving things

I learned last night that a previous minister of our church wouldn't let a couple get confirmed (a number of years ago) because they were living together but not married at the time. The couple is in my bible study and they said that in the country where they come from, they had to be confirmed in order to get married in a church (heavily Catholic country). They're not bitter - more amused - and they serve in the church and are integrated parts of the community which is surely the grace of God at work in their lives.

Still, I sometimes wonder if we let our dogma get in the way of our love. We're more concerned about being 'correct Christians' than 'loving Christians'.

--

What does middle-aged faith look like outside of the 'spinster' box?

What does love look like when you don't let dogma get in the way?

--

NSW is trying to get abortion off the criminal code.

This is going about as well as expected.

I think it needs to be non-criminal and legal. BUT I also think we need to provide measures of prevention when it comes to sex (including sex education and contraceptives for both men and women), we need to provide support options for women who don't want to be left carrying the literal baby when the man they're seeing decides to nick off, we need to provide security for women who are in abusive situations and for whom pregnancy is one more fetter, we need to work on our social expecations of women as caregivers and family anchors, and to do all this requires committment and a willingness to put resources towards this that's so much more than just "don't get an abortion!"

Plus, there's a lot of nastiness coming from conservative Christians about this. I just want to tell so many people: "Look, don't @ me regarding 'the other side' - they haven't been called by grace to live lives of love and service in the name of Christ!"

Christians like to talk about how they're loving the world by imposing values on it, but the attitude I see is that most of us would rather be correct than loving. Correct is clean and sterile, it's definitive and certain, it's the logical, rational, proper way to go! Loving is messy and complicated, requires constant maintenance and repair, and might end you up on the Wrong Side Of The Church People...

It's purity culture, the Christian way.

Jesus could be loving and correct; he was God. I suspect us humans will have to make do with being Loving over being Correct. Correct sure feels good on our side, but it mostly sows bitterness in the people we deem Wrong.