I've been thinking about the move '40 Year Old Virgin' - partly due to a conversation with new friend (also a Christian, about singlehood and Christianity related to an article she linked to that really hit her buttons) and partly because, for the first time in years, I'm in a Bible study where I'm the youngest person and the only one who's never been married (one woman is single, her husband having died a few years back). It's a women's Bible study group, so they're all mothers and wives, dealing with the things that wives and mothers struggle with, while trying to be holy women of God.
It's not an easy thing, from what I see, from the stories I hear from them and the other women in my life who are mothers and wives. Salute to all the women who do it day in, day out, particularly given that we recently celebrated Mother's Day here in Australia.
But it's not a 'better' thing either.
A somewhat accidental slip of the tongue by one of the women in the group the other week got me thinking. We were doing introductions, I was about 3/4 of the way through. All the other women at that point had mentioned children or grandchildren. And the woman beside me started with, "I'm [name], I have two kids - we all have kids..." And I shouldn't have embarrassed her, but I nudged her gently and reminded her, "not all of us have kids."
In the Christian life, singlehood and virginity generally go together; if you're single and never married and were brought up in the church, you're likely a virgin - not always, mind you! ps. Oral sex is still sex. Handjobs are sex. Anal is sex. Actions done with the intent of bringing other people to orgasm are sex, however my personal jury is out on masturbation. *shrugs* (Note: 'virgin' does not mean 'innocent'. I've done the reading up and what I don't know, given human nature, I can imagine.)
Maybe I'll never be married. That's something I'm pretty sure I can live with. Because I'm not alone or lonely.
I think that it's natural to want to be in a relationship with someone - that it's not a bad thing to desire intimacy, emotional, spiritual, and physical. We're made to be in relationships with people, after all - God Himself is in a relationship: Father, Son, and Spirit. On the other hand, when finding someone becomes an obsession, a focus, or a fault - a lack - in the individual, then it's become a problem, as much as gambling when you just have to play another hand, or when you have to have another drink.
It doesn't help that the world puts out the 'virginity is boring' crap either. And yet, I'm sure there are many women whose sexual experiences have been dissatisfying, or plain old brutal, who would love to have that 'innocence' back.
I think we forget that single is a state, and marriage is a state, and finding someone isn't proof against all the frailties of our existence. Is it good to go through with someone else? Sure it is! But it's not permanent, it's not the be-all and end-all, and while it's the closest thing we have to understanding the intimacy of the relationship between God and his church, it's still a long long way from anything like the love God has for his people.
Monday 30 October 2017
Monday 23 October 2017
all have sinned
Eugene Peterson backtracks on same-sex marriage: it's a couple of months old by now, but still relevant, I think.
I am troubled about the question of homosexuality.
I can fully believe that history twisted the text of the bible around to denounce homosexuality overall when the words in the original text meant nothing like what we understand as homosexuality. I can also fully believe that it may be that God considers active homosexuality to be the same as 'fornication' (sex without committment/sex as urge and lust and satiation; not sex as intimacy and personal relationship tool).
Would I prefer the first? Yes. Yes, I would.
Was I brought up in the second. Yes. Yes, I was.
Am I just looking for the exit options on the Evangelical hardline on homosexuality? I don't know. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm seeking a way I can have my cake and eat it, too - to not offend my LGBTQ friends with my faith.
Offence is to be expected - though not because of the question of queer sexuality.
Does God hate queers? No. He hates sin. We are made to worship Him, to give Him all due glory as Creator, and we have fallen short of that mark. That is sin - more than lying or cheating or having sex outside of marriage: to give God the Creator one whit less than is His due.
And yes, we're all guilty of it. Queer and heteronormative, all genders, all races, all nationalities, all people. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
Most people think of sin as something they do. I think of sin as something I am - until the grace of Jesus comes and clears me of it. Yes, I have been incredibly fortunate to witness the love of humanity and the grace of people in so many ways; there is hope in humanity. But that seed of hope is not enough to save us - to redeem us from the darkness in our souls and make us better as individuals or as a people. We can be good, yes, but we can never be perfect.
That's the offensive message I carry: that we are not good enough, individually or grouped together, for God. Not without the help of Jesus.
I am troubled about the question of homosexuality.
I can fully believe that history twisted the text of the bible around to denounce homosexuality overall when the words in the original text meant nothing like what we understand as homosexuality. I can also fully believe that it may be that God considers active homosexuality to be the same as 'fornication' (sex without committment/sex as urge and lust and satiation; not sex as intimacy and personal relationship tool).
Would I prefer the first? Yes. Yes, I would.
Was I brought up in the second. Yes. Yes, I was.
Am I just looking for the exit options on the Evangelical hardline on homosexuality? I don't know. Maybe I am. Maybe I'm seeking a way I can have my cake and eat it, too - to not offend my LGBTQ friends with my faith.
Offence is to be expected - though not because of the question of queer sexuality.
Does God hate queers? No. He hates sin. We are made to worship Him, to give Him all due glory as Creator, and we have fallen short of that mark. That is sin - more than lying or cheating or having sex outside of marriage: to give God the Creator one whit less than is His due.
And yes, we're all guilty of it. Queer and heteronormative, all genders, all races, all nationalities, all people. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
Most people think of sin as something they do. I think of sin as something I am - until the grace of Jesus comes and clears me of it. Yes, I have been incredibly fortunate to witness the love of humanity and the grace of people in so many ways; there is hope in humanity. But that seed of hope is not enough to save us - to redeem us from the darkness in our souls and make us better as individuals or as a people. We can be good, yes, but we can never be perfect.
That's the offensive message I carry: that we are not good enough, individually or grouped together, for God. Not without the help of Jesus.
Sunday 15 October 2017
"God is in control" shouldn't be an excuse to do nothing
If I hear one more "well, God is in control" from a well-meaning Christian...
Here's the thing.
God was in control when Hitler came to power. And yet we still consider it wrong that Jews and Romany and people who were the 'outcasts' of society were slaughtered like they were less than cattle.
God is absolutely in control, but His control and His power does not require us to tamely stand by and watch others suffer injustice.
The book of Zechariah is God's prophecy to the kingdom of Edom. Where is Edom? you might ask. Well, the truth is that God destroyed it as a nation a little less than a couple of thousand years ago. The Jews have spread across the whole earth, and so has Christianity, but nobody identifies as an Edomite in these days.
The thing is, the Edomites watched the Babylonians and Assyrians ride into Judah and Israel and slaughter them, then take the best of what was left and ride away. They watched from their hillside cities, knowing what the dust and the distant flash of sunlight on weapons meant. And then they went down to the lowlands where Judah and Israel had been, and they basically raided the remnants who'd been left behind.
And so God punished them.
The Babylonians and Assyrians were, indeed, God's plan for dealing with the sin of Judah and Israel. But the fact that Edom didn't even try to intervene? God held that against them.
What if Drump’s election is God’s plan for showing out the Christians whose ‘faith’ is mere words and shows of prayerful piety without action against the bigotry and cruelty inspired by Drumpf's message of division and the silence of the religious right? What if all the deaths by gun is God's signpost that it's not enough to have 'thoughts and prayers', but that action is required.
As faith without works is dead, so prayer without action is meaningless. Remember, Jesus acted first – performing miracles, healing, tending, and teaching – for three years before he died on the cross to save us for our sins and it all became clear; so too, it is in our actions that people see God, and in our prayers that God works in others. It's only when God works in hearts, and when our actions show His love, that the message of the cross become clear to those who don't know or understand it.
Here's the thing.
God was in control when Hitler came to power. And yet we still consider it wrong that Jews and Romany and people who were the 'outcasts' of society were slaughtered like they were less than cattle.
God is absolutely in control, but His control and His power does not require us to tamely stand by and watch others suffer injustice.
The book of Zechariah is God's prophecy to the kingdom of Edom. Where is Edom? you might ask. Well, the truth is that God destroyed it as a nation a little less than a couple of thousand years ago. The Jews have spread across the whole earth, and so has Christianity, but nobody identifies as an Edomite in these days.
The thing is, the Edomites watched the Babylonians and Assyrians ride into Judah and Israel and slaughter them, then take the best of what was left and ride away. They watched from their hillside cities, knowing what the dust and the distant flash of sunlight on weapons meant. And then they went down to the lowlands where Judah and Israel had been, and they basically raided the remnants who'd been left behind.
And so God punished them.
The Babylonians and Assyrians were, indeed, God's plan for dealing with the sin of Judah and Israel. But the fact that Edom didn't even try to intervene? God held that against them.
What if Drump’s election is God’s plan for showing out the Christians whose ‘faith’ is mere words and shows of prayerful piety without action against the bigotry and cruelty inspired by Drumpf's message of division and the silence of the religious right? What if all the deaths by gun is God's signpost that it's not enough to have 'thoughts and prayers', but that action is required.
As faith without works is dead, so prayer without action is meaningless. Remember, Jesus acted first – performing miracles, healing, tending, and teaching – for three years before he died on the cross to save us for our sins and it all became clear; so too, it is in our actions that people see God, and in our prayers that God works in others. It's only when God works in hearts, and when our actions show His love, that the message of the cross become clear to those who don't know or understand it.
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