Intriguing that many male pastors like taking the line that "sexual lust" is supposedly a man's most desperate battle of sinful nature. Frankly, given men, masculinity, and 'maleness as defined by society', I'd think that this article detailing the list of the benefits (yes, *benefits*) of domestic violence would surely be a far more insidious and dangerous battle for the souls of men - in our churches and out of them.
Abusive Men Describe The Benefits Of Violence.
Fair warning: it's a harrowing read.
SHORTLIST (the actual list in the article is much longer)
Respect
Feeling superior
Don't have to change for her
She feels less worthy so defers to my wants and needs
Ego booster
Buy the toys I want
Take time for myself
Don't have to listen to her complaints
Don't have to help out
Answer to nobody
Proves your superiority
Win all the arguments
Have someone to unload on
Perhaps apart from 'respect', I would say that none of these are godly desires. Also, none of them are necessarily gendered. (Note: sexual lust doesn't have to be necessarily gendered either.)
And even 'respect' can be an ungodly desire depending on how you're defining it. (Does 'respect' mean "to treat like an authority"? Or does 'respect' mean "to treat like one made in God's image"? Because when men accuse people of "disrespecting" them, what they usually mean is that the person doesn't kowtow to them as an *authority*.)
And maybe it's just because there isn't anyone who has even the vaguest right to demand my sexual availability to him (nb: I don't believe a husband has the right to demand his wife's sexual availability either, but that's a conversation for another day), but I'm a helluva lot more worried about the list of benefits being a sirens' call to the men I know than I am about their lustful thoughts.
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