tooth extraction tomorrow

I feel rather like I've failed at my faith this last month, not doing half of what I should have done, and doing what I should not have done.

Tomorrow, I go in for the extraction of the back molar (the 17 molar, not the one which had the root canal earlier this year - that was the 16 molar) and a possible implant root put in if the surgeon thinks it can be done. Afterwards, we'll see how everything settles - whether it's going to settle and, if so, how long. It's very much a relief - this is kind of what I've been aiming for since late February - but couldn't get the dental professionals to agree with. And even then it's just the 17 molar, not the 16, which is still not entirely 'normal'.

And I find myself thinking about trust - about trusting in God's plan for me. Which is never easy, sinful and determined as I am to live my own life.

I don't trust God very much generally; I don't have to. But these last few months, I have had to and it's been good.

Of course, it's also been easy to slip back out of it again when things level out.

I think I need to set some time aside to read the bible, pray, and take time to be quiet and still. First thing in the morning (all those early morning wake-ups) would probably be ideal...